Guest writer Imagen Gowan (writer of ’50: Diary of a Middle-Aged Woman’) talks about finding love in midlife, social trends, and challenges.
I am. I have been dating on and off for the last seven years and my experience is that finding my forever partner is something akin to mission impossible. But perhaps that’s because I’m too fussy. All I want is an intelligent, educated, wealthy man who cares about his health, loves good conversation, has manners, speaks beautifully, and has a head full of hair.
But one of the key factors that emerge in not dating is “age”
Many women I’ve spoken to say it’s a numbers game. It’s about kissing a lot of frogs before you find a prince – if you find one at all. But don’t be disheartened. These days there are lots of opportunities to find Mr. Right. We’re spoiled for choice!
As per research, 25% of non-daters above age 50 say that they feel “too old” for dating
In the past, people tended to only meet their partner at work, via friends, family, or through their hobby. And this is still a possibility, but there is now a broad range of dating sites online, from well-known giants such as Tinder, Match, OkCupid, Plenty of Fish, Eharmony, and Bumble to more niche apps like , Lumen, and Silversingles (for those of us over fifty). And there is no longer any stigma attached, especially since the pandemic. Everyone does it – from people in their teens through to as old as you like.
Your own priorities or past experiences also determine whether you are looking for a partner at all. Heart-breaking end of relationships takes time to heal.
Older women are even more reluctant to join the dating bandwagon. As per statistics, about 40% of women beyond the age of 65 are unpartnered. The leading cause is the perhaps shorter life expectancy of men as only 21% of men are single in their later life. But despite the plethora of apparently single men out there just waiting to be matched with you, it’s harder to find The One than you might imagine. Could our age be a factor? I’ve found that men my age – men in their fifties – often aren’t interested in dating a woman in also her fifties, they’re looking for someone ten years younger, someone in their forties. Conversely, I’m not interested in dating a man over sixty or approaching seventy. My parents are in their seventies!
Online dating has many benefits: you can browse potential partners from the comfort and safety of your own home and only message the people you believe have potential. You can block people, ignore people, or swap phone numbers with those you like. All of this power is now within your palm. You have a lot of control, and of course, you can delete your profile any time you want. It’s easier to meet a wide range of people in greater numbers online than hoping that the love of your life will walk into your local pub and sit down next to you.
It’s easier to meet a wide range of people in greater numbers online than hoping that the love of your life will walk in to your local pub and sit down next to you.
You can also tweak your settings to only see men of a certain age, or who live in a certain area, and use filters to search for people interested in the same things you are. It’s not surprising online dating is increasingly popular. In fact, according to a study undertaken by Stanford in 2019, couples are now more likely to form a relationship through online dating than any other method 1 .
