> I know people who have put down a different number in the “age” field on their profile and then clarified with their true age in the “about me” section — the point being to not just get filtered out by the search function but also having the real information there in their profile.

I think this is the best compromise. If/when you get called on the discrepancy, you can simply (truthfully) say that you have no intention of lying about your age, but that you futzed with your profile for the purpose of search results.

Most of the guys I know believe to some extent in the “half your age plus 7” limit. If the older men who message you tend to be in their mid-fifties, this may be part of the reason why. (55/2+7=34.5) posted by desuetude at 9:35 PM on [3 favorites]

How about adding eHarmony to the mix too, as they will match you to men in your age range looking for a relationship with women in your age range?

I agree that if someone would lie about something so basic, I would feel like I couldn’t trust them about larger issues.

Lie about your age in your profile if you want to. Tell them the truth and why you did it after you’ve messaged back and forth with them a bit or talked to them on the phone, and then ask them if they’re still interested.

I also think dating in NYC is really, really difficult no matter whether you’re 32 or 34+

This will effectively screen out not only the people too immature to date someone close to their own age, but also all the uptight people that few people would want to have a long term relationship with anyway. posted by serena15221 at PM on

I wouldn’t like, but I would rethink your approach. Match is good, though (I just got engaged, at the age of 40, to a man I met there so there is hope!). It’s not just for Christians anymore.

I have a lot of https://getbride.org/kuumia-ranskalaisia-naisia/ single women friends in similar big cities who’ve been looking for a relationship for years without finding anyone decent. I know others who have moved to a more relationship-friendly place and found someone nice right away (I was in this latter group). I know it’s radical, but is moving an option? posted by hazy [2 favorites]

For me the question is, how important is an accurate profile when you’re browsing? If a guy had lied about his age 2 years would that be OK? If he was 10lbs heavier would that be OK? If his picture is 5 years old is that OK?

If you expect accurate profiles from your prospective partners then it’s only fair that you have an accurate one yourself.

If you’re OK with all this. well, give it a try for awhile and see how it works out for you. posted by sbutler at PM on

I have a lot of single women friends in similar big cities who’ve been looking for a relationship for years without finding anyone decent.

The statistics cited in this interesting article bear that out. Single women tend to outnumber single men in major urban areas worldwide. The northeastern US has many more single women, and greater NYC is particularly bleak: 200,000 more single women. Single men in NY can afford to have young upper age limit. Conversely, the west coast has a lot more single men.